Sons Of Arthritis

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz