Someone Is Upset

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com