#1 humor site on the 'net

Senior Eye Exam

Do you need glasses?

Senior Eye Exam thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Camera illusion du jour

Did you see the bare butt of the girl in the background? If you did see that in the picture, you need to have your eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the camera.

QuotaBills
TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

One may have good eyes and yet see nothing. - Italian proverb

In the eyes of Krypton, they were all dead. - Superman

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. - Henri Bergson

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. - Pablo Picasso

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

In the land of the blind those who are blessed with one eye are kings. - French Proverb

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. - Terri Minsky

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. - Unknown

There is so much in the world for us all if we only have the eyes to see it. - L M Montgomery

Book Censor: A person who reads so much he gets asterisks in front of his eyes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun. - Charles Hanson Towne

When you see the world through serene eyes, you generate peace wherever you go. - Jerry Dorsman

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. - Henry Ford

If you can do something with your eyes closed, it's time to find something new. - Kathie L Gifford

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

We are as much as we see. Faith is sight and knowledge. The hands only serve the eyes. - Henry David Thoreau

You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever. - Donald Trump

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily we do our eyes. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back. - Unknown

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight. - Robert Frost

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

Stories create community, enable us to see through the eyes of other people, and open us to the claims of others. - Peter Forbes

Only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted: eye, yam, stew, peed - Unknown

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

You write to become immortal, or because the piano happens to be open, or you've looked into a pair of beautiful eyes. - Robert Schumann

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel. - Renee Slanksy

If I could be anything in the world I would want to be a teardrop because I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips. - Unknown


British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety

Singapore SkyPark

Nintendo Guitar

Road Detour

Jerushalom

Hot Seat

LippoPotumus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Senior's Golf Cart

Throwaway Sport Paper

Blonde Geometry Student