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Santa Elephant

Standing up for Christmas in Africa

Santa Elephant thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Expect slower present delivery in the Serengeti this year

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Tibia: Country in North Africa - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. - Ruth Ann Schabacker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

We have to nip Ebola in the bud before it spreads through Africa and to other countries. - Mark Zuckerberg

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted. - Lawrence Summers

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America? - Fidel Castro

Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. - Carrie Snow

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I dream of the realization of the unity of Africa, whereby its leaders combine in their efforts to solve the problems of this continent. - Nelson Mandela

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


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