Royal Flush

In the lap of the cards. - Archie Bunker

There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Poker is a tough way to make an easy living. - Bob Thompson

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

The cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. - Jonathan Swift

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. - Oscar Wilde

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on. - Steven Wright

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. - Josh Billings

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

The royal road to a man's heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most. - Dale Carnegie

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The cards you hold in the game of life mean very little - it's the way you play them that counts. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. - Jawaharlal Nehru

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The Republicans have all of the cards. And this is the time to get rid of Obamacare. This is the time to make the great deal. - Donald Trump

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

If you liberals keep gettin' your way - we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin' straight down the toilet. - Archie Bunker

There is no royal road to anything, one thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures. - Josiah G. Holland

Hats are the epitome of Englishness, and a royal wedding is the penultimate moment for a hat designer. I'm Irish, but I am a royalist and I believe in fantasy. - Philip Treacy

I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth. - Anne Lamott

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield

I used to collect hockey cards. It was like Vegas at my school. You'd go to school with your box of cards, and at recess and lunchtime there were all these games we'd play. - Steve Nash

I've always played cards. I can't remember when there wasn't a gambling game going on somewhere, even if it was a craps game in a wheelbarrow on the backside of the racetrack. - Wilford Brimley