Roadside Assistance

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

It doesn't help your five-iron if you're pretty. - Laura Baugh

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Live as long as you can. Die when you can't help it. - James Brown

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams. - Elias Canetti

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Technology: to create new hungers to help us forget old ones. - Neil Postman

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. - George Burns

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Two words will help you cope when you run low on hope: accept and trust. - Charles R Swindoll

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it. - Leo Rosten

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself. - Henry Morgan

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed. - Vincent Van Gogh

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Great leaders find ways to connect with their people and help them fulfill their potential. - Steven J Stowell

If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. - John F Kennedy

Love deeply, love without jealousy, love blissfully and help each other to be more meditative. - Osho

There's nothing like faith in God to help a fellow who gets booted around once in a while. - Jackie Robinson

A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with the wind. - Lewis Mumford

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. - W H Auden

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. - Oscar Wilde

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer. - Elbert Hubbard

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. - Bertrand Russell

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The trials in our lives are valuable lessons and those lessons can be used to avoid similar situations in the future or even help someone else. - Neviesh Perry

If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would've moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help. - Richard D Wolff