#1 humor site on the 'net

Roadside Assistance

Who can you trust when you've got car problems?

Roadside Assistance thanks to Jim Serritella

Counting on friends to get you out of trouble

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. - Princess Leia

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

He has a right to criticize who has a heart to help. - Abraham Lincoln

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

It doesn't help your five-iron if you're pretty. - Laura Baugh

Canada has always been there to help people who need it. - Justin Trudeau

Live as long as you can. Die when you can't help it. - James Brown

You won't help shoots grow by pulling them up higher. - Chines Proverb

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone. - Ronald Reagan

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle. - William H. McRaven

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Walk boldly and wisely... there is a hand above that will help thee on. - Philip James Bailey

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. - Unknown

We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young. - Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil. - Vachel Lindsay

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. - Galileo Galilei

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

If you don't build your dream, someone else will hire you to help them build theirs. - Dhirubhai Ambani

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. - John F Kennedy

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. - Oscar Wilde

You can get everything you want or need in life if you just help enough people get what they want and need. - Zig Ziglar

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us. - Flora Edwards

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That is true friendship. - Mother Teresa

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?" - Brian Tracy


Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine