QuotaBillsWine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster