QuotaBillsSave water - drink vodka. - Unknown
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster