#1 humor site on the 'net

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Speeding tickets came naturally for Leroy

Racial Profiling Starts Early thanks to Barry McCartney

But I was just taking a ride in the park, officer...

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. - Jon Stewart

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. - Jack London

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

We have to make our inspiration first before our inspiration can build us. - Sanjive K Sharma

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

I think of inspiration as desire infused with spirit and topped with an almost reckless optimism. - Fred White

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen. - Deep Roy

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

Teamwork makes the dream work, but a vision becomes a nightmare when the leader has a big dream and a bad team. - John C Maxwell

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be. - Horace Bushnell

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face

Wheelchair Access

Dog Training for Dummies

Pineapple Slicer

Pole Safety