#1 humor site on the 'net

Perfect Ad Placement

Best way to advertise last minute cruise deals

Perfect Ad Placement thanks to Keith Blake

When business starts falling, prices start dropping

QuotaBills
I don't give a ship! - Unknown

Vice Versa: Dirty Italian poetry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots. - Unknown

Old and young, we are all on our last cruise. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Take a cruise down to the Virgin's Island. - Archie Bunker

BANG - A four-letter Italian word for good-bye. - Archie Bunker

Imported from a little town in Italy... Fresno. - Archie Bunker

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo. - Mark Twain

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louisa May Alcott

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - John Shedd

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. - Lynda Barry

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport. - Charles Schulz

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. - Newt Hielscher

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going? - Douglas Gauck

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perspective is to painting what the bridle is to the horse, the rudder to a ship. - Leonardo da Vinci

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

The ship is safest when it is in port, but that's not what ships were built for. - Paulo Coelho

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope. - Epictetus

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. - Thomas Carlyle

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship. - Omar N Bradley

That's how ya got your Chinatown, your Harlems, your Little Italy... all them grettos. - Archie Bunker

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

If you absolutely can't stay positive, don't go negative, just cruise neutral for a while until you can get back up. - Terri Guillemets

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper