Parking Privilege

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. - Robert G Ingersoll

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Truth is the property of no individual, but is the treasure of all men. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright