Parking Privilege

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. - Robert G Ingersoll

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Truth is the property of no individual, but is the treasure of all men. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Democracy is when the indigent, and not the men of property, are the rulers. - Aristotle

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next door to an amusement park. - Dolly Parton

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright