#1 humor site on the 'net

Paper Scissors Cop

New approach to fighting speeding tickets

Paper Scissors Cop thanks to Barry McCartney

Playing Russian Roulette with a policeman

QuotaBills
The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. - Juan Ramon Jimenez

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


TP Roll Art

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute

Run Down Apartments

Your Fly Is Down

Employee Factory - Join The Crowd!

Moonshiners

How Did They Get There?

Dent Wizard

Painted Fence

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Reaching The Ocean

Worst Aid

How To Make A Deer Stand

Make Your Own Plectrum

Too Little Too Late

Pelican Sunrise

Modern Romance

Moose Police

Exhaust Condensation Reducer

Concrete Guestrooms

Look Daddy - Baby Kittens!