Paper Scissors Cop

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

Papers say: 'Congress is deadlocked and can't act.' I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country. - Will Rogers

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff