#1 humor site on the 'net

Paper Scissors Cop

New approach to fighting speeding tickets

Paper Scissors Cop thanks to Barry McCartney

Playing Russian Roulette with a policeman

QuotaBills
Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. - Juan Ramon Jimenez

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Trust him not with your secrets, who, when left alone in your room, turns over your papers. - Johann K Lavater

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?