Paper Scissors Cop

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell