Paper Guns

Gun Control: Using both hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Force: The weapon of the weak. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Sharpen your weapons and limit your frontiers. - Roman Military Saying

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

The real use of gunpowder is to make all men tall. - Thomas Carlyle

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials. - Will Rogers

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

I am proud of the fact that I never invented weapons to kill. - Thomas Edison

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

A blank piece of paper is God's way of telling us how hard it is to be God. - Sidney Sheldon

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

It's better to have a gun and need it, than to not have a gun and not need it. - Ricky

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. - Gene Fowler

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

Unless a man has considerable skill and reliance in his weapon, he will not remain cool in the presence of dangerous game close by. - Townsend Whelen

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

It is often wonderful how putting down on paper a clear statement of a case helps one to see, not perhaps the way out, but the way in. - Arthur Christopher Benson

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Sex is like an atom bomb. A potent weapon which fascinates and frightens. We're afraid to let it loose, yet we all have our finger on the button. - Zeena Schreck