#1 humor site on the 'net

No Smoking Fish

How to tell if someone doesn't like smoked fish

No Smoking Fish thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Where only healthy fish swim

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fishing Gear Vendors: Reel estate agents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Mermaid: 1. A deep she fish; 2. A bottomless girl in a topless suit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is only one thing harder than looking for a dewdrop in the dew, and that is fishing for a clam in the clam chowder. - New England Proverb

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger