#1 humor site on the 'net

Nike Coffin

How to keep running in the afterlife

Nike Coffin thanks to Keith Blake

Custom coffin caskets for deceased runners

For those running out of time

QuotaBills
Death takes no bribes. - Benjamin Franklin

Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny

Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

Love has no age, no limit; and no death. - John Galsworthy

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. - W H Auden

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? - Steven Wright

Good men must die, but death cannot kill their names. - Danish Proverb

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt. - Joseph Heller

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. - Bertrand Russell

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. - Mark Twain

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

Work as if you were to live a hundred years. Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. - Robert H. Schuller

For death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? - I Corinthians 15:55

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. - J.P. Donleavy

The art of storytelling is reaching its end because the epic slice of truth, wisdom, is dying out. - Walter Benjamin

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

'Till death do us part' doesn't sound so horrible. It only means about 10 or 15 years and not the eternity it used to mean. - Joy Behar

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine


Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images