#1 humor site on the 'net

Nike Coffin

How to keep running in the afterlife

Nike Coffin thanks to Keith Blake

Custom coffin caskets for deceased runners

For those running out of time

QuotaBills
How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns

He that lives on hope will die fasting. - Benjamin Franklin

Death is philosophy's only problem. - Albert Camus

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died. - Peter Ustinov

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

Cowards die many times before their actual deaths. - Julius Caesar

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. - Unknown

If we do not know about life, how can we know about death? - Confucius

To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice. - Madagascar Saying

Every man knows he will die but no one wants to believe it. - Yiddish Proverb

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. - Bertrand Russell

His death was the first time that Ed Wynn ever made anyone sad. - Red Skelton

To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. - J K Rowling

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

He who is anxious for the death of another has a long rope to pull. - French Proverb

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

In an artist's life, death is perhaps not the most difficult thing. - Vincent van Gogh

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. - Leonardo da Vinci

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. - William Shakespeare

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

Death is the last enemy; once we've got past that I think everything will be all right. - Alice Thomas Ellis

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen

Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die. - Nelson Mandela

When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you'd been the only man in the world. - C S Lewis

2% of the people think, 3% of the people think they think, and 95% of the people would rather die than think. - George Bernard Shaw

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

One thing about being successful is that I stopped being afraid of dying. Once you're a star you're dead already. You're embalmed. - Dustin Hoffman

If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind... for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Saviour. - Fanny Crosby


Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice

Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon

Cell Shaver

Getting Goosed

No Swimming

Drift Racing

Alligators vs. Crocodiles

Cure for Internet Addiction

Seal LOL

Keyboard Seating

Illusive Dice

Cockroach Cancer

Time Management

People Crossing

Cozy Home

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor