#1 humor site on the 'net

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

How to apply pet nail polish

Nail Polish Lookalilikes thanks to Jim Serritella

Indistinguishable canine nail lacquers

QuotaBills
Exuberance is beauty. - William Blake

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

As we grow old, the beauty steals inward. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucious

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Finding your style is like putting puzzle pieces together. - Lara Spencer

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror. - Pamela Anderson

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. - Quentin Crisp

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Fashion is gentility running away from vulgarity, and afraid of being overtaken. - William Hazlitt

People have the strength to overcome their bodies. Their beauty is in their minds. - Peter Gabriel

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. - Christian Dior

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Within us is the soul of the whole, the wise silence, the universal beauty, the eternal One. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. - Steven Wright

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after. - Wallace Stevens


Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar