My Mom's The Best

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

An ounce of mother is worth a tone of priest. - Spanish Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

Today is the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus. - Unknown

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you. - Alex Trebek

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. - Oprah Winfrey

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. - Abraham Lincoln

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda