#1 humor site on the 'net

Must Return Shopping Cart

Anything to get back that dollar coin refund

Must Return Shopping Cart thanks to Keith Blake

Rising flood waters threaten looter's livelihood

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kettle Drum: What musicians boil water in - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. - C S Lewis

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pentecost Sunday

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding