Multi Task Dad

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

My Dad once said, "you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." - Dr. Phil McGraw

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia