Multi Task Dad

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

Mothers are like glue, Even when you can't see them, they're still holding the family together. - Susan Gale

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. - Jack Baker

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey