Money Machine

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Who marries for love without money has merry nights and sorry days. - Scottish Proverb

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is. - Jim Carrey

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? - Steven Wright

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go. - Humphrey Bogart

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. - Henry Fielding

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

Bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one. - Akilnathan Logeswaran

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings. I found out I have all the money I'll ever need if I die tomorrow. - Henny Youngman

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

We spend money we don't have, on things we don't need, to make impressions that don't last, on people we don't care about. - Tim Jackson