#1 humor site on the 'net

Mommy's Diet

Some families find it difficult to survive diets

Mommy's Diet thanks to Mike King

Choosing a healthy diet plan for Mom

QuotaBills
Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother. - Unknown

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother's vacation. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me. - Lady Gaga

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs