Men's Golf Rules

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump