Maid Confusion

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

I'm confused, oh wait, maybe I'm not. - Unknown

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. - Edgar W Howe

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

If you're confused you're not paying attention. - Unknown

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Silence is interesting. It can show confusion, indifference and sadness. But it can also show determination, confidence and caring. - Maxime Lagace

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin