Maid Confusion

Women's word is never done. - American Proverb

Do not employ handsome servants. - Chinese Proverb

We have confused power with greatness. - Stewart Udall

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

I'm confused, oh wait, maybe I'm not. - Unknown

The tongue is the worst part of a bad servant. - Juvenal

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. - Daniel Boone

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

His lordship may compel us to be equal upstairs but there will never be equality in the servants' hall. - James M Barrie

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker