Maid Confusion

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Organ Recital: A group of women discussing their operations - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

Sewing Circle: 1. Where friendship hangs by a thread; 2. A group of women who needle each other. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie