Maid Confusion

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

We have confused power with greatness. - Stewart Udall

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

I'm confused, oh wait, maybe I'm not. - Unknown

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior. - Socrates

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. - Sally Kempton

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

It's amazing how confused and distracted and misdirected so many people are. - Stephen Covey

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. - Diane Mariechild

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

Silence is interesting. It can show confusion, indifference and sadness. But it can also show determination, confidence and caring. - Maxime Lagace

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren