#1 humor site on the 'net

Luke FloorWalker

May The Floors Be With You

Luke FloorWalker thanks to Keith Blake

Wood floor specialists in Falmouth, Cornwall, England

QuotaBills
Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

Good Anakin. Good. Kill him. Kill him now. - Chancellor Palpatine

What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

I only have two passions: space exploration and hip hop. - Buzz Aldrin

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. - Bette Midler

Are you really sure that a floor can't also be a ceiling? - M.C. Escher

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

He had them as spellbound as a room full of Ewoks listening to C-3PO. - Cory Doctorow

The bodies in my floor all trusted someone. Now I walk on them to tea. - Victoria Schwab

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. - Dan Quayle

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is the space one occupies in the newspaper. Success is one day's insolence. - Elias Canetti

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Cyberspace can't compensate for real space. We benefit from chatting to people face to face. - Jonathan Sacks

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou

Floordrobe: A floor littered with discarded clothes, viewed ironically as a clothing storage system - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. - C-3PO

The really wonderful thing that happened to me when I was in space was this feeling of belonging to the entire universe. - Mae Jemison

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

The universe lies before you on the floor, in the mysterious bodies of your dancers, in your mind. From this voyage no one returns poor or weary. - Agnes de Mille

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash


Raise Twins

Redneck Baby Stroller

Dog Lookout

Porpoise Pilots

Redneck Lawn Mower Delivery

Military Cuts Have Gone Too Far

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Bald Helmet

Tasmanian PiggyBack Ride

Rim Fail

Trillion Dollar Man

How Grandma Handles Windows

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Two Small Men With Big Loads Moving Co.

Snowman Meal

First Snow Blower

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?