#1 humor site on the 'net

Luke FloorWalker

May The Floors Be With You

Luke FloorWalker thanks to Keith Blake

Wood floor specialists in Falmouth, Cornwall, England

QuotaBills
Now, young Skywalker... you will die. - The Emperor

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash

Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite. - Dan Quayle

The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program. - Larry Niven

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vanity can create a very cruel space for you if you don't know how to manage it. - Lady Gaga

Anakin, you're breaking my heart! And you're going down a path I cannot follow! - Padme

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Cyberspace can't compensate for real space. We benefit from chatting to people face to face. - Jonathan Sacks

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

Just be yourself, and hopefully they can shape an epic space adventure around exactly who you are. - Chris Pratt

Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. - Maya Angelou

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Every ceiling, when reached, becomes a floor, upon which one walks as a matter of course and prescriptive right. - Aldous Huxley

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

You live in the image you have of the world. Every one of us lives in a different world, with different space and different time. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl

Some primal termite knocked on wood,
And tasted it, and found it good;
That is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today. - Ogden Nash


I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Toepener

No-Lake Picture

Logging Chairlift

Milkshake Desweetener

Dog Marathon

Global Warming Protest

Canadian Fast Food

Wienermobile Crash

Caribou Walking

Human Pixels

Ruling On Criticism

The New Canada

Pail Face

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck DoorBells

Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up