QuotaBillsWhy doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet
A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo
Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx
I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi
You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore
Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown
I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp
I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi
People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain
The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller
I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj
As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin
As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen
I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking
I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood
Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan
Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix
I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran
I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion. - Nicolas Cage
I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz
You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there! - Minnie Pearl
I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor
As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah
You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro