#1 humor site on the 'net

Learn To Cook

Culinary inspiration from alphabet soup

Learn To Cook thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Spelling your way to gourmet dishes

QuotaBills
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate. - Alan D Wolfe

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Robert Frost

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool