Late Lecture

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

In terms of being late or not starting at all, then it's never too late. - Alison Headley

Old age takes away what we've inherited and gives us what we've earned. - Gerald Brenan

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Three hundred years of humiliation, abuse and deprivation cannot be expected to find voice in a whisper. - Martin Luther King Jr

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

When it comes to old age we're all in the same boat, only some of us have been aboard a little longer. - Leo Probst

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway