Late Lecture

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan