#1 humor site on the 'net

Late Lecture

Preparing for a late night confrontation

Late Lecture thanks to Keith Blake

Late timing leads to elderly showdown

QuotaBills
To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

I know I can't cheat death, but I can cheat old age. - Darwin Deason

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. - Ed Howe

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan


OCD Guy

Garage Add-on

Cow Vacation

ChristMoose Tree

Pilot Prop Job

Crow Species

Lawn Mirror

Fishing Addiction

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake