Late Lecture

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Pity is just another form of abuse. - Michael J. Fox

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

Three hundred years of humiliation, abuse and deprivation cannot be expected to find voice in a whisper. - Martin Luther King Jr

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the post, we have arrived. - Knut Hamsun

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age. - Oscar Wilde

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry