#1 humor site on the 'net

Lamp Post For Sale

'Post' Note: dig this deal!

Lamp Post For Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Buy it as is, where is

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Advertising Executive: Yessir, nosir, ulcer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The purpose of a business is to create a customer. - Peter F Drucker

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department. - David Packard

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

You have to understand your target customer and what you're trying to sell them. - Daniel McGaw

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Branded content is created for a company. A content brand is created for a valuable company. - Drew Davis

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

Even when you are marketing to your entire audience or customer base, you are still simply speaking to a single human at any given time. - Ann Handley

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today. - Steven Wright

I gave my wife a brand new watch for Christmas - waterproof, shockproof, unbreakable, and anti magnetic. Absolutely nothing could happen to it. She lost it. - Milton Berle

Holding back technology to preserve broken business models is like allowing blacksmiths to veto the internal combustion engine in order to protect their horseshoes. - Don Tapscott

Marketing is not bragging, and touting one's wares is not evil. The baker in the medieval town square must holler, 'Fresh rolls!' if he hopes to feed the townfolk. - Jeffrey Zeldman


Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone

Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche