QuotaBillsWhy doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet
What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev
Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx
I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi
You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore
Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara
Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum
I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd
I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown
I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp
I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin
People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain
The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell
Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller
I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj
As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin
A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin
I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader
If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol
Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson
I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere
I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan
Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix
I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran
I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman
Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby
I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz
Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde
I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria
I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor
As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah
You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone
Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor
His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear
When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro