#1 humor site on the 'net

Just Saying Goodbye

New government program to reduce Social Security costs

Just Saying Goodbye thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Warm up the bus!

To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ... I’ll see you on the bus!

QuotaBills
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

One of the many pleasures of old age is giving things up. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

I want to be your favourite hello and your hardest goodbye. - Unknown

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

The old age of an eagle is better than the youth of a sparrow. - Proverb

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

We look forward to a disorderly, vigorous, unhonored and disreputable old age. - Don Marquis

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days are long. - Nikita I Panin

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Redneck Baby Stroller

Dog Lookout

Porpoise Pilots

Redneck Lawn Mower Delivery

Military Cuts Have Gone Too Far

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Bald Helmet

Tasmanian PiggyBack Ride

Rim Fail

Trillion Dollar Man

How Grandma Handles Windows

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Two Small Men With Big Loads Moving Co.

Snowman Meal

First Snow Blower

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?

Islanders