To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ... I’ll see you on the bus!
QuotaBillsOld age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
If youth had but the knowledge and old age the strength. - French Proverb
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde
I defended the republic in my youth; I will not desert it in old age. - Cicero
Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon
Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter
How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis
W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie
You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir
While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato
Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato