To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me ... oh, crap ... I’ll see you on the bus!
QuotaBillsOld age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci
Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis
Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb
I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu
Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown
The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb
To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller
Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings
Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison
I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan
Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman
More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire
Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson
My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare
Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham
When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo
There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich
I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe
While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn
Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden
Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato