Jogger's Weight Scale

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers