#1 humor site on the 'net

Jogger's Weight Scale

Diet plans for the heavy of foot

Jogger's Weight Scale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wait for Weight invitation

QuotaBills
Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


Horn Blower

Breathe in the Ocean

Skywalking

Low Ceiling Workout

Maxi Boot Sorbet

OCD Highschool

Kona Lisa

Fire Distinguisher

An Apple A Day

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Redneck Book Holder

Cold Canada Winter

Snow Reservations

Must Catch Pokemon

Flat-Earthers

Boy Scout Scooter

COLD Fairbanks

Diet Hard

The Bicycle Tree of Vashon Island

Commemorative Pistol

Rad Cat - Curled Up Cat Nap

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Bike Park - Where'd It Go?

Yoga Man