Is This What You Think I Look Like?

What do I look like, an inferior decorator? - Archie Bunker

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Ya look like one of those pall buriers at a funeral. - Archie Bunker

What's the matter? You look like you just saw a clown. - Dean Winchester

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity. I don't want to look like a little old man dancing out there. - Fred Astaire

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen