iPot

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

I think Les Moonves is the most highly overrated person in television. - Donald Trump

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. - Jerry Seinfeld

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room. - Red Skelton

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump