Ice Cream Thief

I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food is not just eating energy. It's an experience. - Guy Fieri

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say. - Will Cuppy

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. - Oscar Wilde

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright