I Can Still Kiss You

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. - Chico Marx

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life. - Stephen Chbosky

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves. - Phyllis Diller

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer