Husband Day Care Center

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner