Husband Day Care Center

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer