Husband Day Care Center

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner