Husband Day Care Center

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. - Ogden Nash

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland