Husband Day Care Center

Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller