How Grandma Handles Windows

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the window which hope has opened. - Charles Spurgeon

A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time. - Mark Twain

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in. - Alan Alda

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda