Have A Seat, Mr. Bond

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Joy Ride: Going somewhere without the kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Bed and Breakfast: Two things the kids will never make for themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates