#1 humor site on the 'net

Hanging Around

I think I'll hang out there for a while

Hanging Around thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life. - Robertson Davies

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

What a morning - fresh as if issued to children on a beach. - Virginia Woolf

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. - George Burns

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet. - Carrie Bradshaw

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. - Jacquelyn Kennedy

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

I look back on my childhood and thank the stars above. For everything you gave me, but mostly for your love. - Wayne F Winters

A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest. - C S Lewis

Whatever happened to a sense of idealism and embracing an idea that will help people and, in this case, children? - Rod Blagojevich

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. - Will Rogers

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt


Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings