Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
GM's Scratch and Dent Sale
New position open in Oshawa for a Dentician
Chevy's Oshawa, Ontario Truck Plant
This is where the guy takes his lunch box and goes home - permanently!
This incident happened in the Oshawa CP Rail yard which ships out GM vehicles. One of the railcar men, who attaches and detaches the car haulers, accidentally unhooked a set of train cars without having the brakes applied. The Oshawa rail yard has a slight incline to it, so when the set of cars was unhooked from the engine, it started to roll down the hill. It smashed through the stop block, and then through the fence - continuing into the parking lot where GM stores the new vehicles that come off the line. Over 300 vehicles were damaged.
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein
Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker
Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. - Unknown
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch in a railroad track ... an inch between a wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. - Henry Ward Beecher
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker
Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. - Unknown
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst
A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch in a railroad track ... an inch between a wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. - Henry Ward Beecher
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Hadoukens
Free Gas
Wannabe Shoplifter
Breaker Bypass
Ice Hand
Invisible Homeless Man
No Muff Too Tough
Safe Removals
Yoga Business Card
Segway in Rural Norway
Mom Lookout
Dog Diner
It's Too Cold To Ride Outside
Ye Olde Simple Simon
High Tensile Snow
Target Entry
Squirrel Feeder Trap
2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)
Florida Sewer Rat
Crane Drop
Special Touch
Muscle Control
Selfie Stuck
Organic Compromise