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Flatulent Speaker

Letting 'er rip during class

Flatulent Speaker thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

Flour: A word by any other name would smell as wheat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like. - Bill Murray

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9. - Muppets

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


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