Flatulent Speaker

Thank heavens it hath no smell. - George F. Handel

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Flour: A word by any other name would smell as wheat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

He has diarrhoea of words and a constipation of ideas. - Unknown

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. - H L Mencken

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi