First Driving Lesson

Life is a long lesson in humility. - Sir James M. Barrie

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

But the ultimate lesson is just sit down and write. - Wole Soyinka

Don't try to teach a whole course in one lesson. - Kathryn Murray

The first lesson reading teaches is how to be alone. - Jonathan Franzen

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is "never try." - Homer Simpson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Don't postpone joy until you've learned all your lessons. Joy is your lesson. - Alan Cohen

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

We learn something from everyone who passes through our lives.. Some lessons are painful, some are painless... but all are priceless. - Unknown

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman