Fedorable Platypuses

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. - Thomas Paine

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The child should gain no request by anger; when he is quiet let him be offered what was refused when he wept. - Seneca

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com