Fedorable Platypuses

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

Vasectomy: 1. Never having to say you're sorry; 2. Spoil the rod. Spare the child. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan