#1 humor site on the 'net

Family Tree

Genealogy search starts at home

Family Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Tracking down your Ancestree

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia


Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment