#1 humor site on the 'net

Extra Space Bed

Putting more 'room' in your bedroom

Extra Space Bed thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Homemade dishes drive one from home. - Thomas Hood

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

A house divided against itself cannot stand. - Abraham Lincoln

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

I have put out my books and now my house has a soul. - Cicero

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. - Helen Rowland

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stucco: What a lot of house hunters are getting these days - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home. - Confucius

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

It's very hard to make a home for a man if he's always in it. - Winifred Kirkland

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Stomach: 1. The home of the swallow; 2. A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Can we be casual in the work of God—casual when the house is on fire, and people in danger of being burned? - Duncan Campbell

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Perhaps someday I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. - Sylvia Plath

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton