#1 humor site on the 'net

Egg Hatch Breakfast

What happens if you don't eat your breakfast eggs

Egg Hatch Breakfast thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Cracking open an eggsellent meal

QuotaBills
Exact: What eggs do on stage - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whisker: A chef who beats eggs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Helicopter: An egg beater with ambition - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Cackle: The commercial announcement of a hen. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

He's better at smelling rotten eggs than at laying good ones. - Unknown

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

Like blind hens, we are ignorant of our own self and the depths within us. - Johannes Tauler

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hens do cackle loudest when there's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid. - Ambrose Bierce

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry. - George Eliot

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell


Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free