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Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

A roof stretching over the Atlantic Ocean. - Ernest Bevin

People don't buy drills, they buy holes. - Zig Ziglar

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging. - Denis Healey

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes. - Willard Scott