Drinking Friends

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. - Leo Robin

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

I have no friends and no enemies - only competitors. - Aristotle Onassis

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

You might not know it, but this is your best friend right here. - Matt Hughes' father

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. - Frances Weller

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. - WC Fields

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

We've been friends for so long I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence. - Unknown

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Our friend Chewy doesn't speak much, but he chews a lot of tobacco so we call him Chewbacco. - Michael Diack

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If men could see the epitaphs their friends write they would believe they had got into the wrong grave. - American Proverb

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure they think he is getting old. - Washington Irving

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Friendship with one's self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. - Robert Brault

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee. - WC Fields

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot