QuotaBillsInternational Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker
I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx
One does not make friends. One recognizes them. - Garth Henrichs
Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin
A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb
Strangers are friends that you have yet to meet. - Roberta Lieberman
My friend has false teeth - with braces on them. - Steven Wright
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. - Euripides
A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright
Those who seek faultless friends will remain friendless. - Unknown
The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell
Sometimes the cost of integrity is the loss of a friend. - Jack McDevitt
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. - Mae West
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad
A false friend and a shadow attend only while the sun shines. - Benjamin Franklin
Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten
Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth. - Portuguese Proverb
An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. - Oscar Wilde
I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine myself, encourage me to grow. - Cher
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
As your best friend, I'll always pick you up when you fall - after I finish laughing. - Unknown
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them. - Evelyn Waugh
Yes, know thyself: in great concerns or small,
Be this thy care, for this, my friend, is all. - Juvenal
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use one more club or two more balls. - Unknown
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb
If men could see the epitaphs their friends write they would believe they had got into the wrong grave. - American Proverb
Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poorly - all these make for great stories. - Chuck Palahniuk
I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. - Arnold H. Glasow
If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. - Edgar Watson Howe
In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you. - Will Ferrell
I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris