#1 humor site on the 'net

Drinking Friends

Creative solutions to today's water shortage

Drinking Friends thanks to Gwen Laxton

Home survival means going 'back' to the basics

QuotaBills
My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. - Leo Robin

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

I have no friends and no enemies - only competitors. - Aristotle Onassis

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

You might not know it, but this is your best friend right here. - Matt Hughes' father

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view. - Wilma Askinas

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself. - Frances Weller

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. - WC Fields

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends. - Kin Hubbard

We've been friends for so long I can't remember which one of us is the bad influence. - Unknown

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Our friend Chewy doesn't speak much, but he chews a lot of tobacco so we call him Chewbacco. - Michael Diack

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If men could see the epitaphs their friends write they would believe they had got into the wrong grave. - American Proverb

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure they think he is getting old. - Washington Irving

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Friendship with one's self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. - Robert Brault

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee. - WC Fields

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. - Charles W. Eliot


Read Your Book Case

Trash Bin Parking

Train Hits Deer

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Redneck Carriage Car

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Baby's Eviction Notice

Australia 101 For Tourists

New Parking Spot For Women

Bestist

Perfect Circle

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Conversation Chair

Despicable Watermelon

Popcorn Cremation

Bus Stop

Police De-Tail: Down-Wind Protocol

Tell Me Why You Can't Work

Canadian Drive-Thru

'Light Through Planes' Art

Time Is Free

Fashion Decisions

Harley Truck