#1 humor site on the 'net

Downspout

Most gripping display of this year's downspout diverters

Downspout thanks to Roy Taylor

Bubba thought he'd hold on to his rain collection funnel

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone. - Alan Watts

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Like water, we are truest to our nature in repose. - Cyril Connolly

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Gardening requires lots of water, most of it in the form of perspiration. - Lou Erickson

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it. - Chinese Proverb

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. - Mark Twain

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Pupkin Carving

Spooky Halloween House

Halloween Clouds

Eye Do

Halloween Pit Bull

Halloween Birth

Broom Size

Hobbit Halloween

Halloween Pie

Just Two Buddies Hanging Out

Jewbacca

Colour Wheel

Halloween Driver Costume

Book Cover Pumpkin

Cabin Illusion

Here Comes Baby

The Official Flag of 2020

Redneck DoorBells

Prison Olympics - Razor Wire High Jumping

Afghan Livestock Management

Elephant Hand

Venice on a Shoestring Budget

New Truck Key

Spiderman's Car