Dog Training for Dummies

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

What we call 'morals' is simply blind obedience to words of command. - Havelock Ellis

Skateboarding is training, but I don't think of it as training. It's fun. - Shaun White

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

We have to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is talent and training, not color, that makes a ballet dancer. - Arthur Mitchell

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." - Muhammad Ali

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman