#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Training for Dummies

Reading between the lines comes easy for canines

Dog Training for Dummies thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

The best training a top manager can be engaged in is management by example. - Carlos Ghosn

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Strengthen the female mind by enlarging it, and there will be an end to blind obedience. - Mary Wollstonecraft

Somewhere in the world someone is training when you are not. When you race him, he will win. - Tom Fleming

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

Giving is more than a responsibility - it is a privilege; more than an act of obedience - it is evidence of our faith. - William A Ward

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban

Politician Plane

Seaweed Burger

Louisiana Potholes

Marathon Runner Tip

Spit Priorities

How To Argue With A Woman

Montreal Protest

Suitcase Staycation

Math Lab Bust

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Girlfriend Math

Shopping With Your Husband

Billy Goat Gruff

Handwritting

Political Floor

Costco Beach Towel