Dog Beer Conversion

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain